There Goes My Life
by NeverWonder
Summary: When they're 20 and heading into their junior year of college, Finn and Rachel find out that she's pregnant. Starting a family while still in school isn't easy, but they aren't going to let that stop them. M for later chapters. [BASED ON A FINCHEL-PROMPT]
1. I just smiled but I was scared to death

**A/N: **I saw this prompt, and I had to fill it; I just couldn't say no. Most of the books Finn and Rachel get are made up, and any similarities to actual books are purely coincidental.

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><p>"Tell me again why I'm doing this."<p>

"Because you're my best friend and you love me."

"No, I mean, tell me again why I'm the one coming back from the drugstore that is literally fifty feet from your apartment at nearly eight o'clock at night instead you."

"Kurt, please just hurry, Finn could be back from work any minute."

"I'm coming, Rach; I'll be up in five minutes or so. You are very lucky I find your absurdity endearing."

"Hurry!"

Kurt slipped his phone back into his pocket and tucked the bag under his arm; going into the drug store and purchasing of those little pink boxes was embarrassing, and the clerk kept giving him this look that clearly said she was judging him. Rachel owed him and owed him big. He made his way up the stairs to the sixth floor walk up Rachel shared with Finn, and when he arrived, he found the door unlocked; Finn would have a fit if he knew she was being so reckless, and Kurt made a mental note to lecture her on safety at the first opportunity. Before he could say anything Rachel practically tackled him, grabbing the bag from beneath his arm and racing toward the bathroom, and he was forced to follow her, still confused by her sudden panic. He found the door shut, and the sounds of murmured obscenities reached his ears; if he hadn't known better he'd think Santana Lopez was in that bathroom.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, do you want to tell me why you had the sudden need to pee on little white sticks and why it couldn't wait until my brother got home?"

"At first I thought it was a stomach virus, but my favorite skinny jeans don't fit properly and I can smell that cologne Blaine got you for your birthday through the door." He wanted to be offended, but he was too busy adding everything up in his head.

"Rachel, are you sure it's not just migraines from the stress, and you told me that Finn's been attempting laundry so he might've shrunk your jeans again." When she didn't answer, he kept fishing for other explanations. "It really could just be a stomach virus, or you could just be bloated; there are all sorts of explanations for what you're feeling?"

"Shut up, Kurt!" It wasn't like her to snap, and Kurt knew in an instant something was wrong.

"I'm coming in!" He found her sitting in the floor, her back against the cabinet under the sink and her knees pressed to her chest; he could see the pregnancy test sitting on the edge of the sink above her head, and he picked it up gingerly. "Two bars, Rach—"

"I know what it means." She snapped, tears stinging her eyes.

"You'll figure it out, Diva; you and Finn always figure things out. Just wait until he gets home and talk it out with him."

It took him fifteen minutes to convince her to leave the bathroom and curl up on the couch, where she trembled and continued to cry quietly; despite the heat of the June weather, one of the only things that soothed Rachel's nerves was peppermint tea and chocolate, and soon Kurt settled next to her on the couch, handing her a cup, and tried to convince her that things were alright. He didn't want to leave her alone in the apartment, but he couldn't exactly stay; Finn might not be home for quite a while, despite Rachel's early concern that he could be home any minute, and it was getting late. He felt useless; Rachel was crying, and nothing seemed to calm her. Usually he'd suggest that they have a Barbra marathon, but he was sure that _Funny Girl_ would not solve her problems this time. Luckily he heard the jingle of keys, and when the door swung open Finn appeared; Kurt stood up, patting her knee, and headed toward the door.

"I've got to get going; I promised Blaine I'd stop and get Thai food, and I'm sure he's starving by now."

"Whoa, I hate to get between a hungry Blaine and food." Finn chuckled, patting his brother on the back as Kurt hurried passed him into the hall.

"Rachel, call me if you need anything." Kurt called from outside the door before he could be heard practically running down the hall.

"Hi, baby!" Hanging his jacket on the hook, Finn swooped in to kiss Rachel, tasting peppermint on her lips, and he raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Peppermint tea, Rach, is something wrong?"

"Nope, just a little tired, that's all." She leaned up to kiss him back, her smile weak.

"I'm all gross, babe; one of the summer interns at the station managed to spill coke all over me as I was leaving. I think I'm going to jump in the shower." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You want to think about ordering dinner?"

Rachel nodded, offering him another smile, and he kissed her forehead softly and headed toward their bedroom; he stripped out of his sticky clothes, dropping them into the hamper, and quickly jumped into the shower. He hummed quietly to himself as he scrubbed away the residue, and soon steam filled the entire bathroom. In his rush to get cleaned up he hadn't noticed the small white stick resting on the counter by the sink, but as he reached for the towel he'd tossed there before stepping into the shower he spotted it; wrapping the towel around his waist, he carefully picked it up, and there was no doubt in his mind what it was. But why would Rachel have a pregnancy test, and what the hell did two bars mean? He'd never really paid attention to the commercials for them on TV or anything, and he and Rachel were always very careful because they both knew they weren't ready for kids or anything. Still holding it, he pulled in a breath and went to get dressed, trying to come up with the best way to ask Rachel about it without upsetting her.

How does one announce an unplanned pregnancy? _Baby, guess what, I'm pregnant. Oops. _None of the options seemed viable to Rachel, but she couldn't very well hide it from him. It wasn't that she hadn't considered the possibility of children with Finn, in fact they'd discussed the idea on a few occasions, but she certainly hadn't considered the idea of children before they were married or even out of college. They were both going to be juniors in the fall, and they were not ready to start a family. They'd been so careful, and now this had happened; it was like the universe was playing some horrible cruel joke on them. When he came out of the bedroom she was just going to have to tell him; Kurt was right after all. She and Finn would figure it out; they always did. Thinking back, she was pretty sure she knew how it had happened—besides the obvious; tears stung her eyes again, and she buried her face in her hands.

"Rach, is there something we need to talk about?" She looked up to see Finn kneeling in front of her, holding the pregnancy test in his hands. "Two bars mean—it means you're pregnant, doesn't it?"

"Yes." The moment the word left her lips, she began to cry in earnest again. "I'm sorry, Finn."

"Wait, baby, don't cry; don't apologize. It's not your fault." The test dropped to the floor, and he quickly moved to sit next to her on the couch, pulling her into his arms. "I just don't know how—I mean I know how, but we're careful. We're _really_ careful."

"Remember about a month ago when I had that bad throat infection, and I had to take a Z-pak?" Finn nodded, confused. "It knocks out the pill, and we were all out of condoms; but I was feeling so much better, and we—"

"Oh," he pulled in a breath, his eye flickering to the test on the floor at his feet. "And you're sure that thing is accurate?"

"I did three, and they were all the same, positive. I'll need to make an appointment to be absolutely sure, but I seem to have a great many of the signs. I feel like vomiting all the time, my favorite jeans no longer fit—I've apparently gained fifteen pounds in the last two weeks—and I've been picking up smells a dog might miss. I'm quite certain that I am, in fact, pregnant." She was biting her lip hard, her hands trembling in front of her.

"Rachel—"

"I thought it was just stress or a stomach virus or maybe that I'd made some miscalculations somewhere." She explained quickly, her voice dangerously high pitched. "Oh Finn, what are we going to do? We live in a tiny apartment, with part time jobs, and we're supposed to go back to class in the fall."

"It'll be alright, babe; we'll figure it out somehow." He whispered the assurance after a moment's silence.

"I don't want to give up our child, Finn; I know it would difficult, but I can't—I don't want to make Shelby's mistakes, Finn, and I saw what Quinn and Noah went through with Beth. I know I'd regret it." The words came rushing out before she could stop them. "I know it's not just my choice, Finn; it involves you too, but I don't want to give up our baby."

"It wouldn't be easy, Rach." Finn waited until her eyes met his. "But I don't think I can do what Puck did; I don't think I could go through life knowing there was a piece of me out there in the world I'd never meet. He'd kill me if he knew I told you this, but I know how screwed up he was about it all."

"I'd never want you to go through that; I don't want regrets between us, or resentment. I couldn't bear it." She allowed him to pull her into his lap, her head against his chest. "I love you so much, and our love created something special; I don't think I can give that up, Finn."

"Then we won't; we'll make it work." He held her tight against him, his lips pressing to the top of her hair. "You'll be a mother, and I'll be a father; we'll make it work. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it, Rach; I promise."

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><p>Worry instantly set in when Finn arrived home to find the apartment empty; Rachel had crawled out of bed with severe morning sickness, and she'd called in sick simply could not come in to work because the smell of grease made her want to vomit. Morning sickness was becoming routine in the weeks since they'd discovered Rachel was pregnant, but some mornings were worse than others. Since he was now the morning DJ at the college radio station, he'd convinced her to just get some rest and promised to bring home lunch if she felt like she could keep anything down. Leaving the vegetable stir fry he'd picked up from Rachel's favorite vegan Chinese restaurant on the counter, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and quickly called her, and he was relieved when she answered almost immediately.<p>

"Rach, where are you? I thought you weren't feeling well."

"Sorry baby, I _really _wanted some marshmallows, and you were at work so I just thought I'd go get them myself." The giggle on the other end of the phone was too cute to stay angry at her. "And then on my way home I passed the bookstore."

"The bookstore? You mean the Barnes & Noble? Do you want me to come meet you?"

"Please! I can't carry all these."

He spent the entire cab ride to the bookstore wondering just how many books Rachel had decided that she needed and why she thought she needed that many; part of him could only laugh because some things apparently never changed. When he finally found his girlfriend she was seated between two shelves in the childcare section, surrounded by stacks of books on babies and preparing for your first child and eating vegan marshmallows out of the bag; she looked up at him with a sheepish smile, and he couldn't resist a soft chuckle at the petite brunette before him, dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt with the words "NYU: Tisch School of the Arts" across her chest. Clearly she had decided to set up camp and wait for him to arrive, and either no one had noticed her and attempted to ask her to move or she had successful defended what amounted to a fort made of books.

"Baby, how many books do you think we need?" He tried not to laugh as he knelt to pick up a book entitled _Babies on a Budget_ and then a copy of _What to Expect When You're Expecting_.

"Well, I was only going to get the marshmallows," she pointed a canvas tote that apparently contained four packages of vegan marshmallows in addition to the one she had opened. "But then on my way back to the apartment I passed the bookstore and got to thinking about how we don't know anything about having a baby; we're totally unprepared, and I just thought a few books would help."

"Rach, this is more than a few books; I'm pretty sure this is half a paycheck's worth of books, probably more than that." He pressed a kiss to her forehead as she popped another marshmallow into her mouth.

"I know Finny, but there were just so _many_. I didn't know which ones would be most helpful."

"So you decided to get them _all_?" She shook her head. "Ok, so most of them."

"I just want to be prepared, Finn. I know it seems silly, but the idea of being unprepared and messing things up terrifies me." Placing the book back in the stack, Finn reached for her hands, pulling her up into a standing position and wrapping his arms around her. "I don't know how to be a mother; I don't even know what to expect. It's not like I had a mother to use as an example."

"Baby, it's ok to be scared; I'm scared too. I have no idea how to be a dad, Rach; I never had anyone to look up to, not until Burt showed up, and even then, it's not exactly the same." He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "We'll figure it out together; I promise."

"Finny, I still want the books." She bit her lip as she looked up at him, and he mouthed the words 'all of them'. "Yes, Finn, I want all of them."

"Alright, Rach, we'll get the books." She rewarded him with a quick kiss before turning to begin picking up the books.

Finn had to ask for a box, much to his embarrassment, in order to carry Rachel's new baby book library, but it was worth it to see her practically glowing; she smiled up at him as they made their way to the counter, ignoring the way the clerk raised his eyebrows at them. Once they were back in a cab on their way home, Rachel leaned against his side, quietly eating her marshmallows, and he wrapped and arm around her shoulder.

"You do know we have to tell our parents, right? I don't want to wait until you are way far along and showing so that we have to tell them because it's obvious." She looked up at him, a marshmallow in hand. "Your dads will kill me; I mean they are going to kill me anyway for getting their baby girl pregnant before I married her, but if they think we tried to hide it from them it will be worse. Mom's gonna lecture us, but she'll eventually be on board with it because she'll have a grandchild to spoil; it's your dads I'm scared of mostly."

"I'd rather tell them in person, Finn; I don't want to call them and just spring it on them. That way we can give them some assurance that we've thought this through."

"When are we going to see them? We live in New York, and our parents live in Lima; they don't exactly visit a lot, and we don't go home very much."

"We'll just have to make a trip to Lima if they aren't going to be visiting us anytime soon." She kissed his cheek. "We will tell them, Finn. But in the meantime, let's keep this between us, and of course Kurt; I want our parents to know first."

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><p>"Finn, we are going to be late; I don't want to be late for our appointment." Only Rachel could arrive home later than expected from work and still be showered, dressed, and ready to leave before him on his day off from the station.<p>

"You were the one who insisted on showering and getting dressed up for a doctor's appointment, baby." Finn glanced over his shoulder at Rachel, who was sitting on their bed watching him change.

"I couldn't very well go while I smelled like food and wearing my poodle skirt, could I? It's _Grease_ week at the diner." She giggled softly when he remarked that she was adorable in her poodle skirt and tossed a pair of socks at him.

Ten minutes later as they sat together in the back of a cab, Finn let the excitement sink in; according to Rachel's meticulous calculations and Rachel's OB, they were pretty sure that she was at least eight weeks pregnant, and, though he didn't like to think about it, he remembered that Quinn had been around ten weeks pregnant with Beth when they'd first heard her heartbeat. He tried not to dwell on the past, not when he had this amazing present and incredible future, and both he and Rachel had avoided any talk of the first time he had thought that he was going to be a father. In some ways things were the same; he and Rachel weren't married, and they weren't exactly prepared for a baby. But this time it felt different; even if it was happening earlier than expected, it felt right. That wasn't to say that he wasn't absolutely terrified, but there was no one else in the world he would rather be terrified with than Rachel. She squeezed his hand gently with a soft smile.

She was terribly nervous, and she had been for weeks now; the confirmation of her pregnancy had made her reconsider so much in her life. She was suddenly concerned that her vegan diet was unhealthy for the baby, and she already wandered about the apartment, muttering to herself that it was much too small and that she was unsure how they were going to manage once the baby arrived. They had yet to tell anyone that they were expecting, and even Kurt had been sworn to secrecy, though he'd already told Blaine; their parents still remained in the dark, and Rachel had resolved to tell them on their next visit to Lima. Somehow she doubted that her plans would be successful, and she was quite certain that they would not be able to keep things a secret for much longer. One hand rested lightly on her stomach, toying with the fabric of her shirt, and the other held his tightly, her slender fingers laced with his; it was all so frighteningly real, and she squeezed his hand, watching the corner of his mouth twitch into the half smile she loved so much. That smile alone gave her hope, despite her fears.

Seated in the waiting room, Rachel couldn't help but feel lucky to have Finn; she couldn't imagine doing this on her own, and there were several women seated alone. She held his hand in her lap, fingers tracing over his knuckles in an effort to distract herself from the nervousness that was suddenly threatening to overwhelm her again; he pressed his lips against her temple, whispering that he loved her, and for a moment she could forget that she was only twenty and that they were only juniors in college. She'd often dreamed of children with Finn; she just expected it to happen after she was twenty-five and an established Broadway actress with a Tony or two on her shelf, not when she was still in college and she and Finn lived in a tiny apartment surviving on scholarships and part time jobs. She knew that she and Finn would find a way to make it, but it was a daunting prospect that scared her almost as much as the fact that they had no idea what they were doing.

"Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson?" They looked up simultaneously when the nurse called their names. "Dr. O'Connor will see you now."

"Come on, baby; it's gonna be fine." Finn pressed another kiss to her temple when her grip tightened. "I'm scared too."

His whispered confession was enough to soothe her nerves for the moment, and they followed the nurse to the back examination room. They had just switched to Dr. O'Connor because Rachel didn't feel comfortable with a male doctor, and this was their first visit with her. It wasn't that Dr. Gregory hadn't been an excellent doctor; it was simply that Rachel was still very particular and modest, at least when it came to strangers, and she felt more comfortable with a woman. As she sat on the bed glancing around the room, Finn bent to murmur something to her abdomen, his hands resting lightly on her stomach, and she couldn't help but giggle.

"Hi baby! It's your daddy; mommy and I already love you so much."

"Mr. and Mrs. Hudson?" Dr. O'Connor stepped into the room, smiling brightly, and took a seat next to them.

"Oh no, we aren't married," Rachel's response was instinctive. "I'm Rachel Berry, and this is my boyfriend, Finn Hudson."

"Oh I see; so I'm guessing this your first." Finn nodded, his hand quickly finding Rachel's and squeezing it gently. "Well, not to worry, you and your baby are in good hands; let's take a look shall we?"

Rachel unbuttoned her blouse and reclined on the bed; she bit her lip and pulled in a sharp breath, goose bumps rising as Dr. O'Connor applied the ultrasound gel to her skin, and Finn scooted the chair closer and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. When she turned to meet his gaze, a broad smile had spread across his face, and she couldn't help but smile as well, unable to resist the dimples and the way his eyes sparkled; his excitement was infectious.

"Miss Berry, Mr. Hudson, would you like to hear your baby's heartbeat?" Rachel felt Finn squeeze her hand, and they turned to face Dr. O'Connor and the screen. "The heartbeat might be faint, but from what we can see here your baby appears to be very healthy; by your next appointment we should be able to hear it much clearer."

"Oh my gosh Finn!" Rachel felt her eyes begin to tear as she heard the soft rapid beating of the baby's heart; her voice cracked slightly as she murmured. "That's our baby's heart."

"We did that, Rach," he whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek. "We made that, together. C-could we maybe get a picture? I mean, I know that you can't see much, but I'd kind of like to have one."

"Absolutely! I'll get you a couple of printouts." Dr. O'Connor smiled softly, offering Rachel some tissues to wipe the gel from her abdomen before heading toward the door. "I'll give you two a few minutes, and I'll be back to go over a few things and answer any questions you might have."

The moment her shirt was buttoned, Rachel threw her arms around Finn, settling lightly in his lap as she kissed him; tears sparkled in her eyes, and he held her tight against his chest. Whispering that she loved him, she buried her face in his chest, and he could feel her trembling slightly in his arms. When she pulled back to look at him a bright smile lit up his face, and she gently stroked his cheek, her thumb wiping away a tear.

"We're going to be parents." He whispered the fact as if he didn't quite believe it. "We're going to have a baby, and we just heard our baby's heart beating. I swear that's one of the most incredible sounds I have ever heard. Thank you so much."

"What are you thanking me for? I'm pretty sure it took two of us." She giggled.

"No babe, for wanting to keep our baby, for wanting to be a family; it's like a dream come true, Rach." He took both her hands in his, gently tracing her knuckles. "I mean, sure, I thought we'd be married before it happened, and I sort of assumed we'd be out of college, and you know, planning this stuff ahead of time. But it doesn't really matter how it happened, not when you get right down to it, because you are all the matters, you and the baby. I love you so much."

"I love you too." She squeezed his hands gently before leaning in to grant him a quick kiss; with a soft smile, she placed one of his hands on her stomach. "You're going to be a wonderful father Finn."


	2. Your Daddy's Worst Fear

**A/N:** I was finishing this up just as they released the first clips of Daddies Berry together and it's so much more satisfying and hilarious when I have a face to put with the name.

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><p><em>i.<em>

_Are you going to wait until you are seven months pregnant and unable to hide it?_ Kurt's question echoed in Rachel's mind as they packed suitcases to make a trip home before classes began again; he was right, of course, and she knew it. They couldn't hide the fact that she was pregnant from their parents; they'd accepted the reality and responsibility for their choice. If they were going to have this baby and raise a child together, then they had to be adults; the adult thing to do was to tell their parents, no matter how much Finn dreaded her fathers' reactions or Rachel feared the way it seemed like the issue with Quinn all over.

"What do I say, Rach? Hey, I knocked your daughter up before we got married or she got a chance to perform on Broadway, but don't kill me and leave our baby without a dad?" Finn let out a sigh as Rachel swooped in to correct his messy packing.

"No, we are going to gather our families for a sit down dinner, and we are going to calmly tell them that I am pregnant and that we plan to keep the baby. We will tell them that we would appreciate their support and advice and that we understand the consequences and responsibilities involved with our decision." It was easy to say that, but the actual execution of her calm plan seemed daunting.

"Are we going to have to stay in separate houses?" She pressed a kiss to his cheek and zipped his suitcase, chuckling at his pout. "I mean, we used to because it made our parents more comfortable, but seeing as how you're—seeing as how it's going to be fairly obvious that we've been having sex."

"Finn!" She rolled her eyes when he placed his hands on her stomach and pressed a kiss on her cheek from behind.

"We've been sleeping in the same bed for two years, and I don't like sleeping alone; I get lonely." He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist, and she let out a soft contented sigh. "Please, baby."

"Alright, but don't think you're getting lucky this weekend." She giggled as he tickled her sides. "Now back to packing Hudson, or we'll miss our flight home and Kurt will spill our secret."

Finn carried the suitcases out to a waiting car, despite Rachel's protests that she could lift her suitcase without problems, and once they were settled, he pulled her against his side; a part of him was still unnerved by the idea of Rachel flying while pregnant because he'd found these awful stories online, but she assured him that she would be perfectly fine and that he did not want to rent a car to drive ten hours to Lima. He really dreaded the thought of telling her fathers that he'd gotten Rachel pregnant; he was pretty sure that Hiram and LeRoy Berry already hated him, and Hiram Berry towered over him like no one else did. He was going to be so dead before the weekend was over, because if the Berrys didn't kill him, his mom would.

Rachel fell asleep almost immediately after takeoff, lifting the armrest between them and curling into his side; he couldn't really blame her, especially since her morning sickness had been getting worse, and she didn't seem to be sleeping well. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head; when she let out a soft almost cooing sigh, he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his lips. She seemed so peaceful and at ease for the first time in three or four nights, and he gently stroked her hair until he too drifted off to sleep; Rachel's fitful sleep kept him from getting rest as well, but he wouldn't be anywhere else but by her side.

_ii._

Telling them in public would be safer; Rachel's dads would be less apt to explode and his mother less apt to cry if they were in a restaurant; Finn straightened his tie for the sixth time, even though Rachel insisted that they didn't need to dress up for a simple dinner with family, and she finally reached up and put a hand on his to stop him from choking himself to death. They managed to stay at his home instead of hers, if only because her dads were scarier, and when he looked around the room everything reminded him of them. The second time they had sex had been on his bed, and she had been perched on his bed, flipping through her French book when he surprised her with his acceptance letter to Stonybrook; he tried to break up in that room with her after his mom told him about his dad, and she'd held him and let him cry and promised him that he was all that was good about his father and that he wouldn't end up like him. She hadn't let him break up with her then, and he knew that she never would.

"Baby, you need to relax; sure, they'll be upset, but they aren't going to kill us." She smoothed the fabric of her simple pink and white dress, and Finn tried not to think about how well it hugged her body.

"No, Rach, you they won't kill; you're carrying their grandchild." He sighed. "Me? They are going to want to remove me d—certain parts of my body for getting you pregnant."

"Now you're just being silly." She chuckled, reaching up to pat his cheek. "Daddy and Papa do not really hate you, and they certainly will not injure you because I'm with child."

"But Rach—" She stood on her toes and cut him off with a kiss, her fingers finding the tie and loosening it.

"The tie has got to go." He sighed in acceptance and let her remove it and toss it aside.

By the time they got to the restaurant, Finn's nerves had reached the point of ridiculousness, and Rachel could feel his hand shaking in hers; she brought his knuckles to her lips for a soft kiss, and when they stepped inside Kurt wrapped Rachel in a tight embrace, muttering something about hurrying up because he could not continue to keep this secret much longer. She knew Kurt was horrible at keeping secrets, and Finn had threatened to burn his entire closet if he told anyone but Blaine before he could. Finn tugged on Rachel's hand, nodding toward the door as if to say they could still make a run for it, but as she pulled away from Kurt she shook her head; it was now or never. He wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist as they walked to the table, and she offered him a warm reassuring smile; they both swallowed thickly when Carole Hummel wrapped Rachel in a hug commenting on how she was positively glowing, and Finn pulled in a breath as he shook hands with her fathers.

"Daddy, Papa, Mr. and Mrs. Hummel, we have something to tell you." Finn practically fell out of his chair when Rachel paused over her chocolate cake suddenly to make the announcement; he'd hoped her immense craving for chocolate would distract her from her current mission to sign his death warrant.

"Rachel," he whispered her name, but she was clearly already determined to announce her pregnancy; her words earlier still echoed in his ears, telling him that their parents were not stupid or naïve and that they definitely already knew that they were sexually active.

"Finn and I are—well, we're having a baby!" The silence that fell at the table was deafening, and Finn suddenly wished that it was he wasn't over six feet tall because then he'd be a smaller target for the two men staring at him at the moment.

"Bunny?" Rachel pulled in a breath at her childhood nickname on her papa's lips. "Did you just say that you were pregnant?"

"Y-yes sir, she did." Finn reached for Rachel's hand, and Hiram Berry looked like might explode. "We've decided—well, we've decided that we're going to keep the baby."

"And have you two considered the ramifications of this decision, the way it will affect your futures?" Hiram ignored his husband's hands on his arm, and LeRoy shook his head. "You two aren't even out of college yet."

"Finn, dear Rachel's father is right." Carole looked completely baffled by the idea. "This is quite a decision, and it's going to have some pretty big consequences."

"Hiram, Mrs. Hummel, I'm sure they've given this thought; Rachel has an excellent head on her shoulders, and I'm sure Finn wouldn't rashly jump into such a decision." Finn had never been more grateful for LeRoy Berry in his whole life.

"Still, what about your plans, Rachel? What about Broadway?" Rachel almost winced when her papa mentioned the effect on her future career. "You do know that a baby now will make it that much more difficult to achieve those dreams, Bunny, don't you? It's going to change things."

"Papa, I know that; Finn and I have discussed it, and we've made our decision." Finn felt her squeeze his hand as if she was trying to draw strength from him. "We know that it will not be easy, and we know that it means that our lives will change."

"But we've created this life, and we can't ignore it." Rachel glanced in Finn's direction as soon as he spoke. "Mr. and Mr. Berry, Mom, Burt, I love Rachel, and I love our baby; I'm going to do everything I possibly can for them, and I'm not going to back down from the challenge. I've known for a long time that I wanted to be with her and that someday we'd have a family; I guess someday came sooner than planned, but Rachel and I are going to take on this challenge. We'd really appreciate your help and support."

He wasn't sure where the sudden burst of bravado came from, but as soon as he got the words out it vanished; now everyone including his mom and Burt was staring at him, and Rachel offered him this smile like he was some kind of hero. But he wanted to disappear because he'd just openly defied the people who had been helping to support them while they were still in school so that they could focus on grades and not where their next meal was coming from. It wasn't a smart thing to do, but the damage had already been done.

_iii._

After the lecture he and Rachel had gotten from his mom and Burt neither of them had said much; his mom had said that she would help them in any way possible, but she still felt that they were taking a very big risk and needed to be aware of the consequences. Burt had agreed whole heartedly with Carole, and by the time they went to bed no one felt any better about situation; if anything panic set in for the first time in two weeks, and Finn had to focus on anything else he could think of not to freak out and scare Rachel.

Even with the air conditioner turned up, it was too damned hot for Finn's taste, and his shirt had already been tossed off to the side in an effort to keep cool; he glanced over at Rachel, who was laying on her back in this ridiculously flimsy little tank top and matching panties, a soft sheen of sweat on her skin, and he had to pull in a sharp breath. She'd said no sex while they were in Lima, staying with their parents, especially staying with his mother, but she was so beautiful that he couldn't resist pressing a soft kiss to her lips; her eyes fluttered open, and she offered him the soft seductive smile that never failed to make him weak in the knees.

"Kiss me again, Finny." She murmured, crooking a finger at him. "Kiss me again."

Happy to oblige, he pressed another soft kiss to her lips, and she let one hand lace through his hair, fingers raking his scalp; something told him she'd changed her mind about this whole, no sex while they were staying with his parents, thing. Her skin was warm beneath his lips as he trailed gentle kisses down her neck, his tongue darting out for a moment and tasting the slight salt of her sweat; she let out a soft gasp, and the hand in his hair tightened. His lips traveled lower, peppering kisses over her collarbone and shoulder, and he shifted his weight so that he was hovering above her. When he pulled back, she smiled up at him, one hand sliding over his chest before pulling him down to kiss him again; he chuckled, letting his hands slide down her sides to hook the hem of her tank top and tug it over her head to toss aside.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world." He murmured, leaning down to take a nipple into his mouth.

Rachel let out a soft moan, desperately trying to remain quiet so as not to alert the house to what was happening; while it should've been no surprise that they were sexually active considering, she still felt uncomfortable with the idea of Burt and Carole knowing that sort of thing was going on in their home. She arched slightly, her nipple pebbling in the heat of his mouth, and her hand gripped the sheets beneath her as his fingers gave her other nipple equal attention; small whimpers fell from her lips, and she let her eyes fall closed for a moment. When his lips began to travel lower, there was a sharp intake of breath, and as her eyes slowly opened they found him gazing up at her with a broad smile. He pressed a kiss to her abdomen, whispering softly to their unborn child.

"Hi baby, I'm your daddy, and I love you." Rachel giggled as he kissed her stomach again. "I love you too, Rach; I love you so much."

Finn moved to kiss her softly and tenderly, his hands stroking over her skin in soft circles; her lips parted, allowing his tongue entrance, and she let her fingers run along her neck and shoulders. He moved slowly, intent on drawing things out, and when she shifted beneath him, he settled between her parted thighs with a low groan; Rachel whimpered against his lips as he rocked slowly and deliberately against hers, and he nipped softly at her bottom lip, causing her to release a soft groan. He could feel her trembling slightly beneath him, and when her hips suddenly rose to meet his, he couldn't stop a moan from leaving his lips; Rachel tugged gently on his bottom lip, soothing it with her tongue, and he rocked more firmly into her, trying not to groan as he felt her heat through the thin fabric of his boxers and her panties.

Murmuring I love you, she let her hands slide down his back and to the waist band of his boxers, fingers tracing just inside; her eyes fell closed, and she gently tugged his boxers down as far as she could before letting him take over and remove them completely. When she felt his hips thrust forward again, his length brushing her heated core through her panties, she moaned with him; the familiar throbbing need threatened to overwhelm her, and she rocked her hips upward over and over until he could no longer resist the urge to remove the final barrier between them. Her hips lifted from the bed, letting him swiftly remove her panties and toss them aside, and when he smoothly entered her she released a soft keening moan, fingers gripping his shoulders tightly.

"I love you…" They said the words almost simultaneously, and Finn began to move with slow steady thrusts of his hips.

As teenagers, stolen moments like this meant heated sex that had to be, as Rachel put it, 'quick and dirty' to avoid being caught because they couldn't risk being caught when Rachel was supposed to be having a sleepover with Kurt and not Finn; rarely did they take the time to savor one another as they did now. Finn's hands glided over her body, tracing the smooth skin of her sides and the soft curves of her breasts, and each thrust was slow and smooth; Rachel moaned his name softly, her fingers sliding up along his neck briefly, tangling in his hair as she let one leg bend to offer him better access, and she pressed a heated kiss to his lips, tongue slipping passed parted lips to explore the heat of his mouth. The heat in the room was overwhelming, and their bodies were pressed tightly together as their love making intensified; Finn's hand slipped between their heated bodies, finding her sensitive bundle of nerves and teasing it in time with each firm thrust of his hips, and soon Rachel had to press her lips to his shoulder to prevent the moans and whimpers of pleasure from echoing in the room and alerting the rest of the house of their actions. She felt the tension in her body, the familiar spiraling heat that filled her as her climax approached, and Finn's fingers moved faster.

"Let go, baby. It's ok, just let go." He whispered in her ear, nipping lightly at her earlobe, and her fingers gripped the sheets beneath her as her body bowed off the bed, pressing against his.

"Finn, oh god—" her orgasm swept through her, words fading into moans as she fell back on the pillows, and he peaked with her, his hips jerking and his body shuddering with release.

It took all his willpower to push himself up enough to roll over beside her, afraid that he might crush her or hurt the baby if he collapsed on top of her, and she almost whined at the loss of body contact; he had barely had time to catch his breath when he felt Rachel's lips on his shoulder, soft nibbling kisses that rapidly turned into a sudden warm suction at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, and he released a low groan. The playful smirk that crossed her lips told him exactly what she had on her mind, and he couldn't help but chuckle as she settled on top of him, lips trailing over his chest before suddenly her tongue traced over a nipple; so maybe it was true what Puck had said about Quinn, pregnant women, and sex. Finn was far too concerned with the prospect of round two to notice his stepbrother had opened the bedroom door to speak to them.

"Finn, Rach, Dad wanted me to tell you that the AC is—Oh for the love of—this is how you wound up pregnant in the first place! It's too damned hot in this house for that anyway!" Kurt's voice carried as he quickly looked away.

"Kurtsie, we're kind of busy, as you can see." Rachel's voice was almost too sweet, and it didn't take Kurt even a second to make disgusted sound and slam the door shut. "Now, where were we?"

"I believe—" But Finn's words were cut off by Rachel's fierce kiss.

_iv._

"I've made my decision, Papa, and it does not matter whether you like it or not." He'd never heard Rachel raise her voice at either of her fathers, and if it hadn't been for the fact that he was scared out of his mind it would've been sexy as hell. "We've had this argument before, and things haven't changed a bit."

"Rachel Barbra Berry, you are going to be an unwed mother still in college; everything you had planned could be ruined because of this." Hiram Berry gestured at Finn, and Rachel's eyes narrowed. "He hasn't even considered asking you to marry him has he?"

Finn opened his mouth to protest, but he knew better than to respond; he had considered asking her to marry him, but he already knew what her answer would be. She'd mentioned in passing that she didn't want to get married simply because they felt that they had to; it would only lead to resentment, and she couldn't bear that thought. He wanted to marry her, and in fact, he'd been thinking about it for a long time; the timing was never right, and now he knew that she'd think he was only asking because of the baby. He felt so useless now, unable to defend Rachel or their relationship; he'd expected this lecture when they got the phone call from Hiram saying that he and LeRoy wanted to talk to them privately, but this was beyond his expectations.

"This is precisely why your daddy and I didn't want you two living together; we knew you were sexually active." Finn visibly winced at the statement. "Now see what's happened? You're pregnant, and your dreams are in jeopardy."

"Hiram, don't you think you're overreacting just a bit? Rachel has not said anything about giving up on her dreams or dropping out of school. The world has not ended because our daughter is pregnant." LeRoy Berry put his hand on his husband's arm. "They had a lapse in judgment, and they have accepted the consequences of their actions; what they need from us is understanding and support now, not scolding and lectures."

"Thank you, Daddy." Rachel's face lit up, and she stood on her toes to kiss her daddy's cheek.

"Now is not the time to coddle her, LeRoy; I don't think these children understand."

"Hiram, take a look at our daughter for a moment." Rachel swallowed thickly. "She's not a child anymore; she's an adult, sweetheart, and she has to make her own decisions. We have to trust her to make the right ones. It's not our job to tell her what to do, not anymore; it's not our job to take care of her anymore, Hiram."

He'd been standing out of the way because despite his feelings, nothing he could say would make things better, but when Rachel reached for his hand he let his finger lace with hers; he wasn't going to let her take on the world by herself. His arms went around her, and she leaned back against him, seeking strength and support he was more than willing to give. He recognized the tone in LeRoy's voice, and he knew precisely what the older man meant. It was now his job to take care of her, especially when she failed to take care of herself, and he gladly took on that responsibility.

"They aren't like us." Twenty minutes later Finn found himself watching Rachel sit on a piano stool next to LeRoy, humming softly as they played a duet, and he felt Hiram's hand on his shoulder. "She and LeRoy have always shared this kind of optimism; they're artists, and they see the world for all its possibilities. Sometimes they forget that their feet have to touch the ground."

"That's what I love about her, sir; well, it's one of the things I love about her. She sees the good in everything, in every situation, and yeah, sometimes she forgets that things aren't always going to be easy. She's ready to take on the world, even if it means that it's going to be the hardest thing ever." Finn pulled in a breath, turning to face the older man. "I know you've never really liked me, and I know you think I've messed things up for her. But I love your daughter, sir, and I will always love her; someday I want to marry her, and I'm going to be front row when she finally gets on a Broadway stage. She's my best friend, and more than that, she's the love of my life; we love each other very much, and we're going to love our baby. We're going to be a family, and I know Rachel is going to need all the support she can get, especially from her family."

"Finn, I appreciate your affection for my daughter—" Finn shook his head, speaking up to stop Hiram's words.

"Sir, I don't just have affection for Rachel; I _love_ her, and I'm going to stay with her. She's my soul mate, and we'll get through this together." He glanced over at the petite woman at the piano. "Sir, I respect you, and I know that you love Rachel; but I love her too, and whether you like it or not we're going to be together. We're going to have a baby."

"You'll look after her, then, especially when she thinks she doesn't need you to?" Hiram asked after a moment.

"Of course." Finn took the hand Hiram was offering to shake. "I promise."

Rachel wandered up a short time later, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing closer to him; despite her nervousness and fear, she loved him, and she was excited to start this chapter in her life with him. Her Papa would eventually come around, and so would Burt; Kurt was already planning to help them, and Blaine was already calling himself 'Uncle Blaine'. There was only one conversation left to have, and Finn had mentioned it that morning; was she going to call Shelby? The truth was that she wasn't sure that Shelby needed to know. After all, she and Shelby weren't exactly on the best of terms, and she'd never been very close to her birth mother; in that case, was it any of Shelby's business at all? The question nagged at her, and she knew that she was eventually going to have to decide. But something else nagged at her as well, and she couldn't bring herself to mention it to Finn at this point. She had no one to show her how to be a mother, no role model at all, and she was terrified that she wouldn't make a very good mother because of it; Finn hadn't said anything, but his own fears matched hers. What if he was a terrible father?


	3. I'm too young for this

**A/N**: I really need to start keeping up with my timelines. It took me an hour to figure out how far along Rachel would be at this point.

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><p><em>i.<em>

She was exhausted and working at the diner still made her want to vomit. She spent most of her time on roller skates, gracefully gliding across the diner carrying trays of food. The smell of cooking meat made her stomach churn, but still she made herself go to work after classes, even though Finn insisted that he'd find a way for her to quit working. They needed the money, and as long as she could balance her health, her classes, and her job she was going to keep working. She was beginning to feel the pressure, even if she wouldn't admit it to anyone. They were going to be raising a baby in a tiny New York City apartment with limited funds. She didn't want to take money from their parents, especially after the scene with her fathers. They were supposed to be adults now.

Puck and Quinn were coming into the city for a visit, and they were supposed to meet them for dinner tonight. Finn could hear Rachel in the shower, where she'd been for the past half hour it seemed. He was beginning to worry. She was never late, even if it took her forever to get ready. Their friends would be there in an hour, and Rachel was still showering. This was the third time in the last week that she'd gotten upset over what seemed to be such small things. First it was the washer going out for no apparent reason, and then their air conditioning unit froze. The heat in the apartment had been unbearable, but it hadn't taken too long to for their landlady to have it repaired when they'd called her. This time, he was sure it had something to do with the fact that her favorite dress no longer fit.

"Rachel, baby, are you alright?" He finally knocked on the bathroom door. "Quinn and Puck will be here soon."

"I'm not going anywhere." The running water muffled her voice. "Call them and cancel."

"We can't cancel, babe. We've been planning this for weeks, and we never get to see them." She didn't answer. "I'm coming in now."

"Go away!" She was sitting in the bathtub with her knees pulled up toward her chest, allowing the water to run over her body; he could tell she'd been crying again.

"Ok baby girl, shower time is definitely over, out of the tub." He knelt and lifted her out of the tub, carrying her carefully out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I'm fat already. Nothing fits anymore. I'm disgusting." The tears came again, even when he wrapped her gently in a towel and held her close.

"You're not disgusting. You aren't fat." He kissed the top of her head. "You're pregnant, baby."

"But what if I stay huge? What if I get huge and ugly?" She whimpered.

"You won't ever be ugly, Rach. You'll always be beautiful." His arms wrapped around her from behind and held her against his chest. "Come on, baby. Smile for me."

She offered him weak smile, and he dropped a soft kiss on her bare shoulder. It took another ten minutes to get her to find something to wear, and by the time it was all said and done they had five minutes before Quinn and Puck showed up for dinner and Rachel was still agonizing over the fact that her flats felt too tight on her feet. He promised her that he'd go with her to buy new ones, only to have to quickly change the subject because she was suddenly holding back tears again as if he'd insulted her. None of the pregnancy books mentioned that every word you said could be an insult to your pregnant girlfriend that caused her to burst into tears for no reason at all. By the time Puck and Quinn finally arrived, Rachel had calmed down again, and Finn prayed his best friend wouldn't set her off with one of his asinine comments.

They hadn't seen Puck or Quinn in at least six months because Quinn had switched her major to pre-med late last semester and spent all summer taking classes so that she could graduate on time. Rachel had called Quinn a few days after they returned from informing their parents of the pregnancy, and the blonde had threatened to kill her for not calling the moment it happened. Since then Quinn had been more than willing to provide pregnancy advice over the phone, including ways to combat morning sickness. Puck on the other hand was useless unless she needed a reminder that she'd 'gotten knocked up'.

"Puckerman, did you have to order that?" Her nose wrinkled at the heavy smell of garlic and onion emanating from Puck's plate, her stomach rebelling already.

"''S not my fault you got knocked up, Berry. I'm hungry, and we came to the best Italian place we could afford." The death glare she shot him was completely ineffective. "You don't like the way it smells, don't smell it."

"Extra garlic, Puckerman, you are sitting across from a pregnant woman." Finn could feel the explosion coming, and he reached over to pat Rachel's knee. "Would it kill you to be a little considerate?"

"Rachel," his voice was supposed to be calming, but it only made her tense up again.

"Sorry, Berry," Quinn's withering stare was probably the only thing scarier than Rachel at the moment. "Wasn't really thinking."

They went back to eating, or in Rachel's case nibbling at her dinner. Her stomach lurched at the scents around her, and it was all she could do to prevent her baked penne with roasted peppers from returning. She was more than a little frustrated that her nausea had not gone away as quickly as she would have hoped. Shoving the plate aside, she sipped her water silently, listening to Quinn talk about catching up with her classes and the path she was taking. The two women stood and excused themselves from the table.

"Baby, order me a slice of the peppermint cheesecake while we're gone, please." She kissed his cheek, ignoring the way Puck mocked her voice, before hurrying away from the table.

"Dude, are you sure you and Berry know what you're doing? I mean raising a kid's going to be a lot of work and expensive as hell." Puck spoke between mouthfuls of his lasagna. "Neither of you know the first damn thing about taking care of kids passed babysitting and shit."

"I know it's going to be hard, but we've made up our minds." Finn paused to order Rachel's dessert when the waitress appeared. "We can't go through this whole pregnancy, knowing that a piece of us would be floating around in the world and we'd never get to know them. I love Rachel, and kids were always a part of the plan. We're just getting a head start."

He'd been telling himself that since they found out about the baby, but sometimes he felt this wave of fear that flooded over him. He really didn't know anything about taking care of babies or raising kids. Sure he and Rachel had spent part of the summer before Sam moved after their junior year watching his little brother and sister so that he could spend time with Mercedes, and then they'd watched Beth for Shelby once or twice. But that was for a few hours, and at the end of the night they went home. They really had no idea what the hell they were getting themselves into at all. He granted Rachel a tight smile when she and Quinn returned to the table.

_ii._

It was the first time he'd really panicked, and he totally blamed Puck. Rachel had a late class because she'd had to drop her ballet class and pick up a class on women in theater, and so he had the run of the apartment. Normal guys would've been taking the opportunity to have a beer and catch up on sports, but no, he was sitting on their couch, reading _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ with a slightly ragged blue blanket he had named Banky when he was barely old enough to form words. Was this what his life was going to become? They were going to give up all their free time. They were going to be sacrificing so much. Was he really ready for this? Were they really ready for any of it?

Looking around their tiny walk up, he had no idea how they were even going to fit a baby into the picture. It honestly had four rooms, not counting the bathroom. They ate a bar between the kitchen and the living room, and there was one bedroom and an odd room that wasn't big enough for anything really. Where were they going to put a nursery? How were they going to afford a nursery for that matter? It was early September, and according to Rachel's calculations and the doctor, baby Hudson would arrive in late December. They were definitely not ready for this.

By the time Rachel arrived back at the apartment, starving again, Finn had worked himself into a full baby fueled panic. He could hear Rachel in their tiny kitchen, digging in the refrigerator and humming to herself. She was apparently in a good mood after her class, and when she appeared in the living room she was smiling brightly, a bag of vegan marshmallows and the bowl of chocolate pudding she'd made earlier in her hands.

"This is definitely your baby, Finn. I swear I eat more than you, Mike, and Puck combined during one of your video game marathons." A small giggle left her lips as she settled next to him on the couch. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Rach," but she knew he was lying, she always knew. "I'm just worried. Rach, this is a big deal. We live in a tiny apartment, with no space, and we both work part time minimum wage jobs. We don't know anything about raising a baby."

"Finn—"

"Are you sure we're doing the right thing, Rach? I mean, can we even handle this? You're growing a person, an actual little person, and we're going to be responsible for that life. It scares the hell out of me, Rachel. Aren't you scared?" Rachel's hand paused with a marshmallow dipped in pudding.

"Of course I am. I'm terrified." She leaned against him, her voice shaking. "I don't know how to be a mother, Finn. I have no clue what I'm doing. What if I—what if I'm a terrible mother? What if I can't do it? I'm just as afraid as you are, baby."

"I just don't want to screw this up, you know?" She dropped her marshmallow into the bowl and leaned closer to kiss his cheek.

"I know you're worried, baby, but I love you. We'll be alright, Finn." He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "We're going to be a family."

"I love you too, Rach." She giggled softly and offered him one of her marshmallows, only to have him wrinkle his nose at it.

Later that night he woke with a start, his arms wrapped around Rachel from behind; she was snoring softly, clearly unbothered by anything. He could hear her murmuring in her sleep, and he moved her hair aside to gently kiss her bare shoulder. Hiram Berry's words still echoed in his mind. _He hasn't even considered asking you to marry him, has he?_ The truth was that he wanted to marry her. He'd wanted to marry her for a very long time. They'd agreed to put off discussions of marriage until after they had graduated, but things had changed. Rachel was pregnant, and they were going to be a family. If they were going to be married eventually, wasn't now as good a time as any to do it? They might even be able to get married before the baby arrived. Rachel sighed in her sleep, letting out a soft murmur of contentment.

"I love you, Rachel."

_iii._

The phone rang at six, just as Rachel was setting out plates for supper on the bar. She narrowed her eyes at it, as if to will it not to ring again. This was not the first time her birth mother had called, and still she refused to answer. Quinn had called earlier in the week, confessing that she'd accidentally let slip to Shelby that Rachel was pregnant while she and Puck were visiting Beth, and since then, Shelby had called at least twice a day. Rachel wasn't interested in speaking to her birth mother, not after all that had happened between them during her senior year. Finn insisted that she attempt to speak to her about the grandchild she would soon have, but Rachel couldn't bring herself to do so. Adding butter to the potatoes in the oven, she breathed a sigh of relief when the phone finally stopped ringing.

"I know, baby; Daddy will be home soon, and then we can eat." She rubbed her stomach gently. "I know you're hungry."

It disturbed her that suddenly she had the terrible urge to taste the chicken she'd placed on the counter to rest. She'd never eaten meat, nor had she even been interested in it. Yesterday, however, she'd had Santana buy her chicken nuggets and a McFlurry from McDonalds and then sworn her to secrecy. The doctor said it was normal, that the baby required protein, but it still bothered her. The phone began to ring again, and she let out a frustrated sigh. Wasn't Shelby ever going to give up?

"Rach, are just going to let the phone ring off the hook?" Finn dropped his gym bag by the door and moved to kiss her cheek.

"As a matter fact I am," she gave the phone another death glare. "It's ready to eat, unless you want to shower first."

"I take it my baby is hungry." The chuckle that left his lips made her smile in spite of her irritation. "It's going to be a boy; I can tell. Let me take a fast shower, and then I'll eat. You go ahead and get started. I bet you're starved."

"I might be." She offered him a soft smile and a kiss to his cheek as he headed off to shower.

Ten minutes later, Finn returned to their little dining room, his hair still damp, and Rachel looked up from her plate guiltily. When he spotted what looked like a slice of the chicken he'd seen waiting on the counter, he opted for silence, knowing that Rachel would freak out if he mentioned yet another deviation from her usual mostly vegetarian diet. She stabbed a potato rather viciously when the phone rang again, and he realized who was calling. No matter how many times he told her that she needed to talk to Shelby, Rachel still refused. She seemed to be more than willing to pretend her birth mother did not exist.

"I'm not answering it, Finn." The words were slightly garbled by the mouthful of potato she'd just picked from her plate. "I have nothing to say to her."

"Don't you think she might like to know that she'll have a grandchild?" Finn sighed, taking a bite of a roll. "You can't ignore her forever."

"Yes I can, Finn, especially after the way she toyed with my feelings twice, just to vanish again." Her eyes narrowed. "I will not expose our future son or daughter to that sort of pain and rejection. I won't do it, Finn."

"Baby, aren't you always saying how people deserve a second chance?" Rachel shook her head, and Finn knew better than to argue with her. "Think about it, Rach."

The rest of the meal passed in silence, and after they were finished, Finn insisted that she let him do the dishes and take out the garbage while she took a shower. She was curled up on their bed in one of his t-shirts, her secret stash of chocolate covered marshmallows in her hand, when he entered their bedroom. He could tell she'd been crying again, and he reached out to stroke her hair as he settled on the bed next to her. It only took a moment for her to be curled up in his lap, and he whispered I love you against the top of her hair, holding her against his chest.

"I'm not going to make you talk to her, baby; I know how much she hurt you." He felt her let out a soft sigh. "I just know how important family is to you—to both of us."

"I don't want another lecture, Finn. I don't want to hear anyone else telling us that we're ruining our lives. I know that's what she'll say, even though she has no right." The tears had returned, and he moved to brush them away with his thumb.

"You don't know that, Rach. I mean, I doubt she'll be super excited, but maybe she'll understand."

"What if she walks away? What if the baby is born, she meets our child, and then walks away? I couldn't bear it."

"I know, baby, and I understand." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm not saying we have to let her be a part of our baby's life, but maybe we should at least tell her what's happening. You could tell her how you feel about things, and tell her that you won't allow her to be a part of our lives if you can't trust her. Next time she calls just talk to her, it doesn't have to be for long."

She closed her eyes for a moment, allowing him to hold her close, and he rocked her gently in his arms. He was never going to get used to the emotional rollercoaster the petite woman was now experiencing. She was prone to dramatics before, but New York and college had mellowed her somewhat. Now it seemed that everything provoked her. He murmured softly into her hair, listening to her breathing slow and become steadier until she fell asleep in his arms.

_iv._

"Are you sure this is the right thing?" She glanced over her shoulder as he zipped her dress, a small frown flickering across her lips when the zipper stopped for a moment. "I mean what if I just end up making a scene in the diner?"

Finn had suggested that they meet Shelby at the diner where Rachel worked so that they would be on familiar ground. Rachel was in no way agreeable to the idea of having her birth mother in their home. Her hands nervously smoothed out the skirt of her dress before slipping her feet into a pair of flats. He knew better than to say much about the fact that she now owned four new pairs of flats to replace her heels because the last time he asked her why she needed so many new shoes she'd exploded and announced that it was because _his_ child was making her feet fat. At almost four months pregnant, Rachel felt like she was huge, even though she was barely showing; some of her clothes had been tossed into a box that she'd labeled "For After the Baby Comes", and every now and then she gave them a sort of longing look as if she were in mourning for her pre-pregnancy body. Telling her that she was wrong only made things worse, and now was not the time to get her upset again.

The moment her eyes landed on Shelby in the corner booth an hour later she took three steps backward, hitting Finn's chest in the process. Finn's arm wrapped around her waist, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, murmuring that she could do this. Giving her a gentle squeeze, he offered her his hand as she moved toward the booth. Shelby offered her a smile, but she couldn't manage to return it with a genuine smile of her own. Finn slid into the booth first, mostly because Rachel insisted that if she needed to escape she wanted a clear route.

"You look well." Shelby spoke first, and Rachel blinked; the words considering your condition hung in the air.

"Thank you." She managed a tight smile.

"Listen, Rachel, sweetie, I just want—" But Rachel shook her head, holding up a hand.

"Please don't. Don't call me that." Finn placed a hand on her knee.

"Rachel, please just let me say this." Shelby pulled in a breath. "I want you to know how sorry I am, and I wanted to let you know that while I'm not sure that you and Finn are making the wisest move, I will be here for you if you need me."

"I'm not a toy you can pick up and play with at your convenience and then walk away when you're finished." Rachel snapped. "And I won't have you behave that way toward my child either. Every time you show up in our lives, you end up walking away. You convinced a boy to get close to me so you could meet me, and then you decided you didn't want me because I didn't need you anymore. I begged you to coach my glee club, and you end up coaching a group of girls who hated me. And then suddenly you were gone, even though you'd promised to be at graduation. I won't allow you to do that to our child. I won't expose a child to that sort of pain."

"I'm sorry if you were hurt. I'm sorry that I made mistakes, but you have to understand." Rachel's eyes narrowed, and Finn reached for her hand. "What I did was wrong. I shouldn't have gotten Jesse involved, and I certainly should not have dealt with my own guilt at your expense. I am truly sorry for that. But I was confused and hurt; I'd recently discovered that I couldn't have children, and I wanted desperately to meet my daughter. I never meant to hurt you."

"It doesn't matter what you _meant_ to do, Shelby. The fact of the matter is that you left me damaged and hurt and confused. To be rejected by the woman who gave birth to you after she sought you out is devastating." Her hand moved to rest on her abdomen. "I can't let you do that to my—our child. I won't."

"Rachel, I can promise you I would _never_ hurt you or my grandchild like that. What I did to you was terrible, and I know I can't change that. But when Quinn said that you were—I just had to talk to you." Shelby's tone was sincere, and her eyes never left Rachel's. "If you don't want me to be a part of your life, I'll respect that, but I'd like to help you. I'd like to a part of your life, and your baby's life, if you'd let me. I'd like to make things up to you."

"If we let you be a part of our lives, it would mean that you couldn't just walk away and pretend that we don't exist." Finn finally broke his silence, his gaze moving between the two women. "You can't just decide later that you're bored. I'm not going to have to explain to a kid why grandma isn't interested anymore."

"We can start slowly, maybe just going out to lunch or something like that." Rachel nodded. "We don't have to rush things."

"I suppose it couldn't hurt to try." Shelby reached for her hands, and Rachel made herself resist the urge to pull away.

"Thank you, Rachel. I promise you won't regret it." Finn and Rachel nodded.

The conversation passed into awkward talk of Rachel's emotional state and health and how they were handling classes. Rachel wasn't exactly sure how to talk to Shelby, and Finn kept trying to steer the conversation toward things that weren't baby related in hopes that maybe if they took some time to get know each other things would go better for them.


End file.
